Today is my birthday. My 28th birthday, to be exact. I've always loved birthdays, especially my own. I mean really, what's wrong with a day that's all about wonderful, fabulous YOU! :) I know so many people who hate getting older and hate their birthdays because it reminds them of this fact, but every January 5 is like a special holiday just for me. It's not even about the gifts, although that's always nice. It's just about being happy I'm alive, smiling and feeling good about life.
Obviously my birthday is pretty close to Christmas. Growing up my parents always made a point to separate Christmas and my birthday so I wouldn't feel cheated, but one of the perks of having a birthday so close to the holidays is that it extends them. We always keep the Christmas tree and decorations up until after January 5, it means more fun dinners out and presents and family time. Thanksgiving through today always meant special times.
As regular readers know, these past few months have been rough for us. I hit a low point on New Year's Eve (SP was sick, we'd had to cancel plans with our friends and I spent most of the day on the couch feeling sorry for myself) and all I could think was "I can't wait for 2008 to be over!" We ushered in 2009 with the burning of the bad from 2008 and the planting of our hopes and dreams for 2009. At my first birthday celebration on Saturday, when I blew out the candles on my delicious cake, in addition to my real wish I wished for things to be different in 2009.
Today I happened to wake up at 12:00am on the dot. All I could do was smile and wish myself a happy birthday. And I haven't stopped smiling since. Between the happy birthday hug and kiss I got from SP while I was still in that blissful sleep/wake state all snug in bed this morning to the sushi lunch, homemade cupcakes, cards and gifts from my coworkers to the promise of a fantastic Mexican dinner tonight, it's just been a great day. After feeling so low for so long it almost feels wrong to be happy. Maybe I'm just out of practice, but it feels sore, almost like a muscle I haven't exercised in awhile. I keep searching deep within myself to find that little pang of sadness, but it isn't there. I'm just enjoying my day, smiling to myself and feeling, in the very dark and dusty parts of my heart, as if something has changed. Something feels different. I can't put my finger on it, but I think 2009 is going to be a good year. I hope I'm right. We could really use some goodness in our lives, but for now I'm not going to worry about that. I'm just going to enjoy this feeling and the last few hours of my special day.
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Happy birthday to me!